Monday, May 28, 2007

An Update from My House

Hello All! Just wanted to drop in and say hello. I haven't been on here for awhile and I didn't want anyone to think I had left this world. I'm ready to go... but not in any hurry to get there! LOL

The past few months have held lots of stressers for me. My dad and step-dad died... almost a month apart. I have been trying to get a new job and it seems to be at a standstill right now. Then there is life with OA. My food has been good, but I am having some questions going through my head. I am wondering about me. Am I crazy? Is that why I can't seem to keep a sponsor? Well, I will go into that later. So... as you can see... things have been a bit stressful. BUT overall, God has been faithful! I can't complain when it comes to Him! He always provides what I need. So... that is good.

Now... let me see. Where do I begin? Last month my hubby had the permanent stimulator put into his back. He is doing really well with it and it is terribly hard to keep him from doing anything that the dr. has asked him not to do. He is very active... one of those "I can't sit still" kinda guys. The dr. wants him to not lift anything for 6 weeks that weighs over that of a gallon of milk. Well, just last night he shared with me that he went out and picked up a 50 lb. piece of machinery to put on the corn so the racoons wouldn't get into it! I have talked till I'm blue in the face, so I am now just going to let the dr. handle it. He goes back to see him in the next few days and I hope he fusses at him left n right! LOL So, that is what is going on with him.

Now... about OA. We have been having Intergroup (IG) meetings monthly and things were going pretty well. There has been some squabble over how much abstinence someone needs to have to be in a position of authority within the group. One or two of the members have been pretty adamant about it. It is either their way or no way! My feeling is that if we are working the steps the best we can, then that is worth millions! Ok... so someone slips... should they be relieved of their job? I don't think so! I think as long as they are working the steps and trying... that is important. However, the others don't quite agree with me. They feel that we need to be the "abstinence police" and have everyone check in whether they are or not at each meeting. I just don't like this! None of us are perfect and so why should we be the ones to judge someone else? In my opinion, that is God's job! So, I am a bit upset about IG. I am going to talk with my counselor about this. I just feel it isn't right.

The next thing I see happening is me losing sponsors again. This is my 4th sponsor and each time it seems like I get just a bit close and they leave. I am not sure if it is due to me, or due to something they have to deal with. Probably both, since I am far from being perfect! My current sponsor and I seem to be pulling apart from one another. It seems like that is how it works. Life starts happening and then they don't have time to share... or I feel like we are getting too close and I pull back for fear of rejection. Guess that is part of my 5th step I need to really work on. I know one of the many things a sponsoree needs to be with her sponsor is honest. Right now I am finding that hard to do. I don't want to share what I am feeling because I feel she will get upset. Oh well, guess I know the answer... let HP handle the outcome! So... please say a special prayer for me. I need to work this out. Thanks!

Well, tomorrow I will have been married (this time) for 18 years. We were sitting on the porch last night and joked about getting a divorce so we could remarry again! LOL I don't think I want to deal with that again! He said that maybe we could renew our vows in a couple years (when we hit 20) because he doesn't know if we will make 25. He thinks he is going to die before then. I told him he was too stubborn to die and I wouldn't let him! LOL

So... that is what is going on with us right now. Food is good. I have been trying to do the diabetic diet but finding it harder to stick with. I want to eat all the time when I do the small meals (Can't seem to make them small). So think I will go back to doing 3 meals a day and no eating after 9 pm at night. That really worked for me! Have an abstinent day and a wonderful holiday. May God's best be yours today!

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