Just wanted to share a bit to let you know that I wasn't lost in outer space somewhere. I am still alive and kicking. However, life continues to happen and I have had to take some time to deal with it. This last month my Dad passed away and I found myself wallowing in the self pity of the past. Oh those things that continue to haunt us even when we think we are over them! Well, today I am getting better. I have been blessed with a new sponsor and have been working with her the last few weeks on life and what has been happening. It is amazing how someone else can see what we can't see... even when it is staring us in the face! So, today I am learning to deal with this day and it's events.
One thing I have really found interesting is the way she has shown me to do the steps. I have begun to do them over again with her. Right now I am only on step 3, but that is ok. I have really had some wonderful insights that I would like to share with you. First of all, step 1 says that we will be brought back to sanity. I had never saw that before! Isn't it wonderful to know that somewhere in our past, we were sane? I find that very hopeful. I can go back to sane if I allow HP to lead. Now... step2. I found that working it "came to believe" really stuck out for me. I am not sure why... but it did. We took a couple weeks just pondering it and thinking about coming to believe. I found that I still didn't feel worthy of God's love. I know... I have talked a good talk previously, but today I see He wants me to know that His love is given freely. I don't have to earn it or do anything but accept it. I have also found that His love isn't conditional. I knew that before, but I never internally accepted it. I felt I had to do something to earn it or even keep it. So today I am blessed in knowing that I am loved...PERIOD!
This week I begin step 3. It amazes me how much I am learning by doing things as she has suggested. Just write the step out, look up the words in the dictionary and choose what definition I feel it means to me today. Then write why I feel I chose that definition. Afterwards I pick a portion of the step and write on it. It is amazing how many things I have found about myself by doing this. Thank God... He always knows what we need, just when we need it!
So...life happens! That is where I am today. I am blessed. I am grateful for a Higher Power who loves me enough to meet my every need. Thanks for listening. May your HP be near you today and lead you in the path you need to follow. Hope to see you along the journey!
Hugs...Cindy D in WV