Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Step 4 "Making Our Inventory"

Step 4
"Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves."

I remember the first time I took step 4. I wanted to do each step perfectly and this one was no exception. Because I wanted perfection, it took me months to do it the first time. The one thing I learned from that is that I can do as many 4th steps as I want. Each one brings something new into view. I need to be aware of what HP wants me to learn from doing this one today.

First I had to find out what I didn't have in my inventory. That wasn't too hard. Everyone always told me where I had failed. My list of failures was LONG. My sponsor then told me that I didn't need to list what I didn't have. I needed to know what I did have! That was hard. I had to start my list over looking at the me that I really didn't want to look at. Could I please just skip this step? My sponsor said no... so I continued my inventory.

The one thing I forgot was that I was taking my inventory. An inventory is a list of all things within, both good and bad. When I was working at the grocery store, we did weekly inventories. During these inventories we reviewed what items we had out on the shelves in the store, then looked at those things on hand stored in the backroom. This is the same thing I need to do with my inventory. I need to first look at those things visible with my eyes. These are the things everyone can see. Then I need to look within and see what I have stored within me. When I did this, I found it amazing to see that I had many things I didn't realize were available within me.

Some of the things I found in my inventory I realized I didn't need any more. These were the things that I would have get rid of. Then there were those things I found that I needed to use more frequently. These were brought out to the forefront and I began to put them to work in my life.

When I think of my inventory, it says that we make a searching and fearless inventory of ourself. Was mine a search? Yes! I found things that I didn't remember having. Was it fearless? NO! I was scared to death! However, I found that it wasn't something to be feared and that helped me to let it go. I finally got my inventory done. So... how about you? Have you started your inventory yet? If not, what is keeping you from doing it? As the slogan says....

Next time we will talk about various parts of our inventory. Hope to see you there. We can do this... one day at a time! Just take a step out in faith. HP will help lead the way.
Hugs... CD

1 comment:

Da Gal said...

Hiya - found you on Dodi's site in the comments. I am glad to find another OAers site. I love what you've said about the inventory here. I am in the process of working another 4th step inventory with a new sponsor and now that I see your ideas I think I might be leaping into a third. I like the notion of doing it from what I show on the outside versus what I have in the backroom. That backroom is scary scary biz sometimes.

I look forward to getting to know you better. If you are interested, pop on by my recovery blog... my name will probably link you to my main blog but my recovery one is here:

Take gentle care - Meg