Thanking God for You!

Hi everyone! Juat wanted to let you know that I am still here. It has been awhile since I posted anything online. OA seemed to not be so important to me the last few months due to illness. I felt so overwhelmed with the pain I am going thru that I really didn't want to do anything about my abstinence or OA. Now I am getting better and realize that I need OA and all of my friends who support me. This is the start of a new day... a day of abstenance!

I thank God that He never left me alone. I wanted to be that way... at least I thought I did. Instead I felt a real need for someone to need me. or to get me back to my meetings. Part of my problem was me. I didn't want to face anyone and let them know that I had lost my abstinence. Our life was in a turmoil. We had bills and no money to pay them, so I didn't care if I were abstenent or not. What I was concerned about was dr visits and no money to pay them. I have been trying for disability since last September in the hope that with that we will make it. I have already been denied 3 times and have now got a lawyer. I hope that helps it to get approved soon so I can get these bills off my mind.

One miracle did happen while I have been offline. A friend paid the money I needed to get my taxes caught up. I am going to pay her bac as soon as I can. I didn't ask her for it, she just did it. I am so thankful for friends like her. It was good to know we wouldn't be evicted. So I am a believer that if we ask, God will supply our needs. He has been so good to me.

Tell me about your time while I've been gone. I look forward to hearing from you!

Hugs....Cindy

The Promises of OA

If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

        Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us — sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.
"The Promises; Alcoholic Anonymous" (‘The Big Book’) pages 83 – 84

 I needed to talk with you today about the promises.  In a few months I will be doing a talk on the hidden promises of OA in a workshop.  I would like to know your thoughts about it.  If you were going to a workshop on this, what would  you want to learn from it?  Do you know what the hidden promises are and where they are found in the Big Book? Do you like someone to just talk or do you prefer interactive workshops where you can say something as well?  What do you think you would want to gain from this workshop?

Ok... I am going to probably do an interactive workshop since I am that kind of person. I want to learn as well as teach.  Right now I have thoughts of putting one of the promises on card or some kind of item you could take with you.  All of the promises will be on some kind of item.  Everyone will choose an item to take with them and then we will have that person discuss how their promise has either come to be or not and why.  I thik most of the time we know why our promises do not come to be.  For instance, I could get the fact that one of the promises is finding that fear is under control, that it doesn't rule my life.  Then I could close with how through surgery I felt the peace within due to knowing He had it all under control.  What do you think?

Well, almost time to get ready to go to church so I will cloise fo now. Have a blessed day!
Hugs,
Cindy

Keys to Acceptance - HP is Amazing!

.March has arrived!  With it has come the rain, wind, and (not yet but probably) snow.  This box may seem a bit strange to you, but after reading my blog I hope you will understand where I was coming from.  It has been a strange few weeks. My sponsor has been sharing with me some things she would like to do for a workshop that she is going to in May or June.  The theme is "Acceptance is the key".  You have probably heard this statement before if you are familiar with the AA Big Book (page 449 (first 3 editions, pg. 417 in the 4th edition) .  She has been looking for keys in various places and hasn't been able to find the exact one she wants.  Well, she told me and it seems that HP wanted me to do her shopping for her!  I never knew there were so many things that had keys on them! I found a bunch of pictures in frames that were of keys in various sizes.  Nice but not exactly what she wanted.  Found some keys on a little pillow that you put in the microwave to heat for massaging...only $3.00!  Then she said she would like to have a big key to use as a conversational piece.  That has been the hardest thing for me to find.  However, I went to a store that my boss at work suggested and found the most adorable makeup case with keys all over it! When I showed her the picture of it, she loved it. Oh... the price for it was only $15.00!  I was amazed. So, that is the reason for the box above!  HP has answered our prayers.
    Yesterday I went to Michael's after going to the doctor.  Just felt like I needed to take some time alone to relax.  Well, before leaving I felt a nudge pulling me towards the basket area.  I never go over there!  Well, guess what I found... Yes... another key!  This time it is 15 inches and very heavy.  I'm going to mail it to her today.  Oh... price was $7.50!  Unreal isn't it!  I am truly amazed at how things worked out for her. HP surely has been busy!
    Just to update you on my surgery... All went well. In fact, it went great!  The doctor went to do the biopsy of the pallup and it wasn't even there! She said apparently it was just a shadow in the ultrasound and they had thought it was the real thing.  I believe my HP was working and got it taken care of before she got there!  That I can believe!
    Well, I need to do some work around the house. Just wanted to let you know how HP has been blessing me this week and that I am doing fine.  You have a great week!!  I will be keeping you in my prayers.  Remember... all we have to do is ask and He hears our prayers!
Hugs...Cindy

PS. I Love You

I hope that I am not boring you with all this stuff about surgery and my fears.  I get so tired of people writing about how everything works well in OA all the time and never goes wrong.  To me, that isn't reality.  We are all human and prone to fail.  What we do, how we do it, when we do it, is all up to us.  For me, this program works ONLY WHEN I WORK IT!  If I don't do my part, I can't blame anyone but me for it not working!

As I was looking for a picture to use this morning, I saw this one and thought how appropriate it is for me today!  I need to be reminded that HP loves me PERIOD!  Today I am only a few hours from surgery.  My thoughts are not as fearful today because of the amazing time with the nurse from yesterday.  (I think I wrote about it in my blog.)  She really was able to help calm my fears.  In spending time with her, my heart knows that I am loved.l

So, how are you feeling this morning?  Are you feeling loved?  Do you feel like you could use a friend today to put their arms around you and tell you all will be fine? If you do, stop for a moment and look inside.  Take a deep breath and search for your HP.  He is there for you if you seek Him out.  Now...take His love and put it into your heart. You can do it! Have an awesome day.  Probably no thoughts tomorrow due to surgery, but will be back.  HP is in control!!

Hugs...Cindy D

Anyone for a cup of coffee?

It's another day closer to surgery and I find that fear and faith are two of my closest friends.  At one minute I am feeling the fear, the next minute HP sends someone my way to remind me that faith is all I need!  This morning was another early morning.  I have been getting up at 2-3 am just to keep from waking my hubby.  He normally has trouble sleeping and I don't.  This week it is the other way around.  I have been the one up, walking the floors.  However, I have tried to make it a productive time by using it to work on crafts or by working on step-work.  It's amazing what you can learn when there are times like this!

Today I went to get my pre-admission testing done.  I was so stressed because I have been waiting on the results from my echo to come back and the doctor's office told me that it would be Wed. before I would hear from it.  Surgery is scheduled for Wednesday!  All I could see is them coming in at the last minute to tell me that I couldn't have the surgery due to some problem with my echo. (Me trying to run the show again!)  Well, as I stated the fear I was having to one of the nurses, she said I could relax.  She said that the nurse in charge of my case had already contacted the doctor's office where they were reviewing the echo and got the results.  All is well!!  Talk about relief.  I felt like a 100 pounds had just been lifted off my shoulders!  This nurse is a jewel. (and I told her so!) She came in and shared that she had experienced the surgery 1st hand and that I was going to be fine.  She answered all of my questions and even some that I didn't know to ask!  When I left there I felt like I had been talking with HP's helper and that I had nothing to fear.  All is going to be fine.  I am now confident of that.

It's funny how we know things and believe them, but sometimes we just have to go through things to get it to sink into our thick heads. (At least, I do!)  I know that God is in charge and that there is no need to fear... yet I was still very fearful.  Now I know that fear is what it is... it isn't something to worry over because even worrying over it will not change anything.  Only HP can do that!  So, HP take over... the driving is up to You!  You lead the way today and always! When I tend to get in the driver's seat (as I often try to do) remind me Who is in charge!  Thanks!

Who's driving your life events?  You or HP?  May your day be one filled with faith and not fear.  Hugs... Cindy