Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Step 4 "Sex"

This is a topic that you either love or hate. Growing up I was always told that was something you only discussed with your spouse. Today's world has really changed that idea. You see sex on TV, in radio announcements, billboards, and just about everywhere. It isn't a secret thing any more.

In dealing with sex in step 4, we are going to look at our relationships. Here are the directions for writing a sex conduct inventory as given to me. You take your notebook and you write a list off all the persons you had and have intimate relations with. You write one name to a page and leave the other side blank. Since you may need both sides of the page for each person. Then we answer the following questions in detail for each person on our list.
1. Where have I been selfish in my conduct? We write down our selfish and self centered actions feelings and thoughts with regard to that person
2. Where have I been dishonest in my conduct? We write down our dishonest deeds, like lying, stealing, borrowing and not returning, hiding parts of the truth, gossiping, posing as another person than what we really are. Etc…
3. Where had I been inconsiderate in my conduct?? We write down all our inconsiderate deeds with regard to that person.
4. Had I hurt that person? (Emotionally, physically or financially) Write down in detail all the harm you caused that person.
5. Did I unjustifiably arouse jealousy in that person? Be specific and write in detail.
6. Did I unjustifiably arouse suspicion in that person? Be specific and write in detail.
7. Did I unjustifiably arouse bitterness in that person? Be specific and write in detail.
8. Where was I at fault? We write down what our responsibility was in this relationship, and why we were in it in the first place.
9. What should I have done instead? Meditate on this question and write down what were the right things that you should have done instead of what you did.We look at what we have written.

We must treat sex as any other problem. When we have a specific problem we turn to God in prayer and meditation. "God, please show me what I should do about this specific matter." Knowing that the right answer will come if we want it. We have to realize that only God is the final judge of our sex conduct and not people, though we may ask for their advice.

I hope this has helped you to work on your inventory for step 4. Next time we will be discussing Step 5. Hope to see you then. Until that time, keep looking for the good and bad in your inventory. There is some good there! I saw it.

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