Thursday, January 12, 2006

The Nature of our Disease

When I think of where I am today and what this disease has done to me, all I can say is "I need help". That is where Step 1 comes in. Today I want to share a few things I have found from looking in the AA Big Book.

First of all, this disease is one that is three fold. We are fighting both physically, mentally, and spiritually the nature of this illness. Let me give you some examples. As for the physical side of this disease, that is the weight of it. I am an obese person. I have tried various weight loss plans and lost weight, but it still keeps coming back. I feel like I have will power. I want to lose. I want to be different.

It is the mental part of this disease that keeps me thinking I can keep doing the same things I have always done and lose weight. It won't happen! I have to change my ways of thinking. For me to change my thinking, I have to see specific foods as poison to me. All I need to do is eat one potato chip and I am on my way to finishing off that whole bag! I mentally think that I can eat just one or just a few and stop, but instead I keep doing what I have always done... I eat it all!

The spiritual part of this is amazing to me. You will notice in the passage above I have said "I" about a million times. Well, the truth of the matter is that I don't have to do this alone! I can have help. For the spiritual part of my disease, I need to realize that there is someone or something greater than me that loves me enough to care about what I do or say. To me that someone is my God. He used to be a God of power and condemnation. I used to think that He was upset with me all the time because I didn't do my best. The truth of the matter is, He wants to help me! So, when I see this in my spiritual life and realize that He is willing to help, I need to be willing to let Him!

There are many sayings and thoughts found in the AA Big Book which talk about the alcoholic and their desire to stop drinking. As I read these passages, I see myself. I cannot control my food eating. Once I start on my binge foods, I will go on till it is all consumed. I have tried other diets, weight loss pills, etc. but nothing works for very long. Willpower alone will not get it done for me. I need God's help. Step 1 is realizing that. Have you seen your sense of powerlessness yet? May today be the day that you truly take that first step!


laoe said...

Would you mind very much if I used this post in our OA newsletter?

The Brat said...

Please feel free to use whatever is on here that will help your OA newsletter. I love being able to share with others my journey. Please keep coming back!!