Friday, December 16, 2005

Let Go and Let God

Sounds real simple, doesn't it? Just let things go and let God handle all your problems! Well, for me it is sometimes a moment by moment challenge. The reason for that is because I was told as a child that to not meet a challenge was to fail. It was a sign of weakness. I was always encouraged to succeed, to get the best grades, to win the prize, to complete the task requested, etc. Many times I would fall flat on my face at the task and consider myself a failure. Wehn I did this, I began to peck away at my self-esteem. By the time I found the 12-step programs, I was really down on myself. I was a failure and no one would love me. I knew that!

The first time I tried to let go of something it was one of the hardest things I had ever done. I wanted so much to fix the problem, but knew I couldn't. I had tried! My sponsor suggested that I take the problem and give it to God. As a Christian, I felt this would be easy to do. I had always been taught by my grandparents that God is always interested in us and wants to help us when we can't do things ourself. BUT wasn't I supposed to at least try? Well, I had tried. I had failed. So I gave my problem to God. Before the hour was up, I was back to worrying about the situation. What did God want me to do? What would I do if He didn't answer quickly? Where would we go? The questions began to overwhelm me again. My sponsor said that I was taking back what I had given to God. I didn't see it that way, but she had more program experience than I did, so I trusted her experience. She said that when we worry, it shows we aren't trusting God. So again I turned it over to God, and again, and again... until I finally stopped worrying about it.

She gave me something to help me let go. It was a little note of love that I have cherished for years. It says...

Dear Cindy,

I will be handling all your problems today. I do not need your help. So have a good day!

Love God

After reading this, I kept it close to me wherever I was. When I felt worried, I would pull it out and read it. Today it means so much to me, probably more than it did the first time I read it. It is wonderful to know that God loves me enough to care about all my problems. He wants to help. The only thing He is waiting on is for me to give it to Him. So today I have learned to take each day and let it go (whatever the problem) and let God take care of it. He will if I let Him!

As they always say in our meetings... it works, if we work it! Have a great day today!

1 comment:

Dodi said...

Thanks Cindy! I have the same struggles with failure and my self-esteem. I am taking back more than handing over in my third step. Everytime I ask for guidance but don't follow it, I beat myself up mentally. I have to remind myself that beating myself up is not a tool.

So I keep working it, one of these times I'm bound to forget to take it back. Right?

Have a good day too!