Tuesday, December 06, 2005
If you always do what you always did...
you will always get what you always got!
There are days when I think I am just redoing the day before. It seems that I am what some people would call predictable. I never do things differently. I never react differently to those who push me into a corner... I just cover up with fear and never face them. I hate confrontations! I think the reason is because I am saying when I stand up for myself that they are wrong! Well, my people pleasing nature doesn't ever want to rock the boat.
Then there are days that I say today I will diet, I will exercise, I will do this for me. Then before the day gets started good, I am at my desk wallowing in jelly donuts and drinking mocha coffee. Not good for a dieter at all! So, why do I do that? I know what is good for me. I have been on enough diets to know that healthy is having a balanced diet of all the good foods... and NO donuts are not one of them! But that still doesn't answer why I keep failing at my diets. I have tried and tried to follow them, but end up falling on my face every time.
Well, when I came to OA I realized that the 12 steps would work if you work them. They worked for me when I was dealing with the alcoholic husband in my life at that time. It took months for me to totally let go and let God have him. I couldn't control his drinking or fix him... only God could! So how does this help me with eating? Well, when I realize that I am powerless over food, I realize that there will be times that food will really "call my name" and I will want to eat it. It is only by the grace of God that I will be able to resist. I have to give my food to my God, my Higher Power. Once He is in control of my life, I can work these steps daily with success. Of course, there are days when I think I don't need His help and I stumble and fall. The good thing about all this is the fact that He is always there, just waiting on us to give it up.
So, I can eat and do the things I have always done and fail... OR... I can choose to follow the 12 steps and learn to depend on God. It is an easy program, but it isn't always easy! So, for today I am choosing to change my thinking to get different results. I choose the 12 step way. With God I cannot fail!