Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Taking that First Step

I remember the day that I began on this journey. I wanted so much to do it without having to depend on anyone else. I knew that God could do many things, but there were certain things that I felt He expected ME to do on my own. It was MY job to do it. As I took this first step I saw how wrong my thinking had been.

Step 1 says, "We admitted we were powerless over food- that our lives had become unmanageable." I just didn't understand how I could be powerless over food. It wasn't in control of me. I was the one putting the food in my mouth. I was the one that made the wrong choices. I chose to eat chips instead of vegetables. So, how does that make me powerless over food? Well, my desire was for the things not good for me. I wanted those things. They had power... they controlled my desires! Now... talk about unmanageable. I was a mess and sometimes still am (LOL). Why? Because I would allow my desires for food to run my life. I would buy an ice cream cone when I really needed the money for gas in my car. Or I would buy "comfort" food instead of paying a bill. Bills were stacking up and I had no control over how I would ever get them paid. I would worry about them and then eat to stuff the feelings.

So, step one for me was seeing life as it was. It was basically a reality check for me. I didn't like me or who I was. I didn't like what I had become and didn't feel like their were any other choices for me. Today I know that I have choices. That comes later...

Have you taken the first step?

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