Monday, December 19, 2005

Just for Today

I have a really bad habit of trying to foresee what the future will hold for me. When I was first introduced to the 12-steps, a common practice of mine was to do the scenerio "he says this... I say that" and try to run all types of things that could happen through my head. I thought this was the best way for me to see if I was doing things right.

When I came to Al-Anon (my first 12-step program), I noticed that many people would tell me not to project what the outcome would be of situations. They told me that was not something I could realistically do. They were right! I would run the ideas through my head, but they never happened as I anticipated. I was always getting hurt or assuming the wrong things. Another thing I was good at was assuming that others knew what I was thinking. If they didn't do as I thought they should, it was their fault because they hadn't read my mind. Well, things have changed today.

I find that I have only today to deal with. Yesterday is over and done with. I cannot change anything I did or didn't do in that day. Tomorrow hasn't gotten here yet. I can't anticipate what others may or may not do. All I can do is live in the now and live it to the fullest. I can deal with today and it's problems by turning my day over to my HP and asking for His guidance. With His help, I can get through this day. I don't have to worry about tomorrow or yesterday. They will take care of themself. In fact, I need not worry at all. Why? Because HP is in control. When I worry, He is not in control So... just for today I choose not to worry. I give this day and all it's problems over to the God of my understanding. He will take care of it all, I just have to stay out of the way... JUST FOR TODAY!

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